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“People are NOT what they seem to be before we really get to know them,” an acquaintance of mine said with great authority. She went on to say that the true, hidden natures of most people are concealed behind masks of polite behavior and what they think is expected of them. However, once the pressure is on, the masks come off. True natures are revealed.
"The more stress people are under," my friend said, "the less guarded they are. And then their actions reveal them.”For better or for worse, this conversation brought me back to a certain tragedy I had been a part of, once upon a time. In this incredibly stressful situation, people were under immense pressure. Anxiety times one thousand. Despite all the fear and the horror, people acted with amazing kindness and heroism. However, I've also witnessed some pretty hideous shenanigans from people under crazy amounts of stress. Were all of these folks, in both situations, showing their truest selves? Do we reveal who we really are by the spontaneous choices that we make under duress?
Of course, this applies to the characters in stories, too. After all, they should be having rough times. They should be up to their foreheads in trouble and tension and stress. So, if my friend is right, there should be lots of opportunities for writers to show the truths behind their characters.
What do you think? Do the choices people or characters make under pressure reveal their true natures or simply other facets of their personalities?
When my characters are under pressure, different facets of their personalities become stronger or, if hidden, become unearthed.
ReplyDeleteThis makes me wonder about certain things I've said or done under pressure.
I love to see how characters react under pressure--especially when they start to unravel. That's very human.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult to say really! That's what makes people so amazingly fascinating in their complexity! Personally, I hope that I'd always be of help under duress! Take care
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Interesting, Medeia. Maybe, as with your characters, different aspects of personalities emerge under duress.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Julie! It is fascinating to watch characters unravel. This is so very human. Better to see it in fiction, though. ; )
People are fascinating, aren't they, Old Kitty? And complex. I, too, hope I'd always be helpful under pressure.
I think given certain circumstances they can, but it has to be personal. If it's happening to them instead of someone else they will react differently. Intriguing post!
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree. It's true, pieces of us break through under stress that we may have wanted to keep inside.
ReplyDeleteExcellent question! I think it would depend on the character as to which direction they went. Stress can do funny things to people, and it's a good thing to ponder when writing a novel!
ReplyDeleteThat's a great point, E.R.
ReplyDeleteAnd probably our characters, too, don't you think, Lisa?
Yes, indeed, stress can do funny things to people, Carol. Thanks!
I believe people can show their true selves under pressure but sometimes being ruthless or mean could just be a way of self-preservation? If having to choose between saving their life or something.
ReplyDeleteI've seen some great heroism come out of stress so I want to keep believing there is innate goodness in everyone.
As for my characters, this is what I love because the reader can see it unfold, see the layers being revealed. Love it when that happens as a writer and a reader.
What I have seen is the ugly side of people come out in the sporting arena.
ReplyDeleteThat said, people can be really supportive during stressful times. Guess it's how you deal with the tough situations that shows real character. And yes, we should try and bring this out in our writing.
Interesting question. I think whether under stress or not, our actions will eventually reveal our true selves.
ReplyDeleteI think of it less like a mask and more like layers of defense. As we get to know someone, we allow them to peel back layer after layer until the very core of our soul is revealed. But that doesn't mean each layer is not part of who we are. I'm a WYSIWYG myself. And not a very good liar!
ReplyDeleteAs my husband likes to say, "Everybody's normal until you get to know them."
ReplyDeleteSome people just seem to be calmer under stress than others; thank God for the firemen and police and EMT people right? Other people get hysterical and stand around and wring their hands and weep and become a problem all by themselves. Still other people go numb, go kind of catatonic and can't do anything at all.
When it's a general emergency, like a hurricane or riot or flood or earthquake, some very law abiding people become looters or worse. Is it a reflection of their true natures, or are they simply caught up in the mob mentality which can be quite strong? Think of WWII Germany.
Good question! I hope most will still stay their true self under pressure. But when I was stressed with two grad courses in a short amount of time, my daughter told me a was "a bit meaner" during that time. :( So I'm not grace under pressure all the time, I'm sure I was a bit less patient with them at that time! I think also it depends on what type of situation is causing the stress as well.
ReplyDeleteoh Lord, I hope not. I mean, I really sincerely hope people know that sometimes we are at our best selves and sometimes we just screw up. It doesn't make us bad people ... just people having a bad moment, you know?
ReplyDeleteI think it's exactly as you said--some will show some amazing, benevolent true colors, and other will show their worst. Great post!
ReplyDeleteI agree. Different facets of their personalities will come out.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post!
I think the answer is both! Stress can literally make you crazy.
ReplyDeleteSelf-preservation. That's interesting, Karen. And I'm with you in wanting to believe that there is innate goodness in everyone.
ReplyDeleteAh, yes, sporting events--excellent example, J.L. I've definitely seen the good, the bad, and the ugly side of people watching and playing.
I agree, Lynda. Action sometimes speak louder than words.
Nancy, your description of layers is great, but, um, you lost me at WYSIWYG. Sorry! : )
Your husband's quote is great, Bish. And you make great points about how everyone reacts differently to stress.
Aww, Kelly, none of us are always grace under pressure all the time, but I agree that what is causing the pressure makes a difference. Your daughter's comment is cute in a bitter-sweet way.
I do know, Tess. We all have our moments, don't we? ; )
Thanks, Lydia and Stina!
Isn't that the truth, J.A.! Stress is brutal.
Interesting question. I guess stress makes other truths about you come out, but not necessarily the WHOLE truth. I'm not sure that when a person behaves badly under stress we should conclude that none of the person's saner moments are real. But yes, this does make putting pressure on characters so interesting!
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm constantly under stress. Just cause that's my own fault. I worry about everything. But I do think we can see clearly the characters of our characters (lol) when they make a decision under stress. Like who's the real leader, who's going to sacrifice themselves to save everyone else, who's really bad at making decisions and cannot think on their own.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
What a good question. We all act differently under stress, but I'm not certain stress reveals our "true" natures; maybe just another aspect of who we are.
ReplyDeleteI do think that moments of high stress can bring out our true selves. Whether it's our inner monster or our inner champion I think depends on the stressful situation. Great question!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Marica. I agree that putting pressure on our characters can be really interesting.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ashley! And i hope that stess load lightens up for you.
Good point, MG. Thanks!
I agree, Julie. I think the circumstances of the situation has a lot to do with how we behave.
I think this would be a great idea to bring to a novel, masks... Then you'd really create 3 dimentional characters... Could also be confusing.
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
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Both, I think. Love the masks in the photo.
ReplyDeleteWhen I've been stressed, it's brought out the best and worst in me. It depends. Maybe our true nature is circumstantial. I know when it's really counted, I've been a help. I hope if I'm ever in another situation, I'll rise to it.
ReplyDeleteUm... I choose "facets of their personalities." Really, there is so much to a person. You can't find it all in a moment of stress.
ReplyDeleteInteresting idea, MIchelle. Masks are mysterious and intriguing.
ReplyDeleteThey're beautiful, aren't they, Carol? Love your answer, too.
Hi Theresa! Stress tends to bring out the best and the worst in me, too. It all depends on the situation. And who or what is involved. People and animals in need, for example, will always brings our any wonder woman tendencies I may have. ; )
It's true, Peggy, people are complicated and layered. And hopefully our characters are, too, right? ; )
I love the - show the truths behind their characters. I think people do show their real selves under pressure. Sometimes, there is an exception, we don't always know what is going on in their lives at that moment. That could change how they are for that moment.
ReplyDeletegreat post! I've heard a funny saying, "You don't know what's in the bottle until you squeeze it."
ReplyDeleteI all honesty, though, I think it's a little of both. I think stress can reveal a person's true nature, but in real life situations, when people undergo great amounts of pressure and change, they are also prone to acting out in ways that are uncharacteristic. It's just hard to tell which is which.
Great post!
I'm over from Nancy's blog. Love this post. I think there is something to this although I don't know that it shows someone's "true" self. It's more like it shows you what they are or are not capable of doing. It shows you what they can take and what they can't take. I mean if someone is consistently kind and generous, warm and considerate but under severe stress they become mean and snappy does that mean they are a nasty person at heart? I have a difficult time swallowing that. On the other hand, I have seen first hand how people you think you can count on disappoint you in times of stress. I've seen people I thought would be there for me become complete cowards under duress. I like to see how people react in times of extreme stress because then I know how much I can expect from them. Some people can handle more than others.
ReplyDeleteInteresting question! I do think heavy stress can bring out the best and the worst in people, though not necessarily their hidden natures they normally keep hidden under masks. More like parts of them that aren't always on the surface.
ReplyDeleteOh, such a great point, Maeve. We don't always know what is going on in the lives of people. This "what" could make a huge difference in how these people react.
ReplyDeleteSuch a fabulous quote, Christie!
Welcome, Lisa! Thanks for the wonderful comment. People are ever so complicated, aren't they? For better or for worse.
Thanks, Susan. Another great comment. It's been so interesting reading everyone's perspectives.